Feeling alone....and still angry.

So, I've recently discovered how awful it is to be grieving alone. There are so few people that will call to check in or ask to hang out. For everyone else, life went back to normal....for me, it hasn't. All the love and support we received immediately after we lost Thomas is gone now.

 

People still continue to say things that make me angry or just roll my eyes...."everything happens for a reason" or "this is God's plan." First of all the phrase "everything happens for a reason" is bs. I used to believe this statement, but not when it comes to this situation. I now believe we have all made choices to get to where we end up, I believe I had to have some heartache and make some difficult decisions in my past that I was certainly unsure of at the time, but whatever they were and no matter how difficult, they led me to my husband and I couldn't be happier with those decisions and where they put in life. But saying everything happens for a reason, doesn't make sense. Life doesn't always make sense....and this situation, this "new normal" we are living doesn't make any sense at all. Why do we all get to walk the earth and I had to bury my first born son? Explain that to me without using the phrase, "everything happens for a reason." You can't do it....because life doesn't make sense.