Hailey's Birth Story

It's been a long time since I've taken the time to blog about our newest addition. We are so happy she is here with us and growing so fast already! I figured I better take some time while I still remember most of what happened the day she arrived!

First of all, we didn't share ahead of time but we knew baby was going to be arriving on July 13th no matter what. With the July 17th date looming closer (Thomas' original due date) we made the decision to not let it get to that date and be induced. So, I went in for my weekly appointment on Tuesday, July 12th to start the induction process. Doctor inserted a balloon of sorts to start dilating my cervix....then we got to sit and listen to baby's heartbeat for a while to make sure all was well. That evening I was pretty crampy and having some pretty good contractions, which I expected and figured since that's what Dr. Winga had told me to expect. By the time we went to bed I was feeling better and was very ready to meet this little person. We were told to check into the hospital the next morning by 5am...well, baby had different plans.

We had it planned out that Julie would come around 5am and then head into the hospital. However, I woke up around midnight (apparently my children like to wake me at midnight when they are ready to join us - Blake did the same thing) to some pretty strong contractions. Starting timing and they were minutes apart from the beginning. I called the hospital about 1:30 and they recommended a hot shower to see if that would help ease. It worked while I was in the shower but the minute I got out they were back in full force. Jim called his mom shortly after that to have her on alert. Continuing to time the contractions as best as I could...it seemed like they were on top of one another and starting to move into my back again.  By 3:00 am I told Jim we needed to go to the hospital cause I couldn't handle the pain anymore and the contractions were so close together...Julie arrived shortly after and we were at the hospital by 3:30 am. It was the longest car ride ever....

We had planned to have a photographer there to capture this delivery and she arrived shortly after we did. We got all checked in and I immediately asked for an epidural cause the contractions were almost completely in my back and I didn't know which way to turn to be more comfortable. Below are some pictures that tell the story of how I was feeling....the pain is pretty evident on my face. Yikes.

After what seemed like hours waiting for the epidural, I finally had some relief. The picture below captures the relief I was feeling. After that, I was comfortable and finally able to rest some. Things moved along pretty quickly for this delivery so in between we just passed the time.

This picture of Jim looking at the monitors still amazes me...the nurses had been in a few times to check me and I knew we were getting close but it's 8:45 here and I'm still not pushing!

Doctor is in the room and we are ready to have this baby!

Things went so smoothly, a couple pushes and we discovered we had a little girl! Jim says she looks like a boiled brat here! :) Such an incredible moment that was captured! Below are some of my favorites from our first moments together to meeting Blake! He was so cute that day and has been ever since.

Hailey James Anderson arrived at 9:00am weighing 7lbs 14oz and was 21in long. We are so happy she is here and she has perfectly completed our unique family!

Dad cutting the cord

Blake meeting Hailey

Dad finally getting to hold his princess.

Reading to Blake about being a big brother

Baby #3 - It's a.....

BABY

Here we are with just over a month to go in pregnancy #3. I've struggled emotionally again with this baby and it's been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. Now in the home stretch I'm finally feeling ready to meet this little peanut. 

The beginning was pretty similar in that I was feeling good, then I was quite nauseous for a number of weeks and lasted well beyond the 1st trimester. I'm still dealing with major heartburn, which has been a similar component through all three pregnancies. 

Going into the 20 week anatomy scan, I was feeling anxious as I always do. I hadn't yet feel the baby move, even though I was assured that this was normal. The scan went great and baby is growing as he/she should be. I was diagnosed with marginal placenta previa again and had to go back and be checked two more times before it cleared. But around 28 weeks it had cleared and we are now set to have this baby join our family. 

We had some maternity pictures done recently and I've shared some of my favorites below. We love our talented friend and photographer - Jenny Longlais. 

We are so excited to meet this newest baby....34 days to go!

Don't forget to submit your hunch on what baby#3 will be... :) 

http://www.babyhunch.com/poolpage.php?poolid=b3a5fdf2f62dc6491cdb1f4161e2f1c9

Hard month

This little boy has been missed a great deal lately by his mom. The month of April never gets any easier for me, another year that passes means another year with out him and all the milestones we are missing out on. It's hard to imagine that 2 years have gone by already...and yet some days it still seems like yesterday. So many people said in the beginning that it gets easier with time, but does it?

Time takes me further away from holding my first born son....

Time takes me further away from the memories I have of holding him, what he felt like in my arms, on my chest.

Time seems to make it harder to explain to those that don't know what happened to us.

Time makes people forget...

Not many people recognized him on the anniversary, I'm not sure if that's because they didn't know what to say or if they forgot? Either way, it doesn't hurt any less.

As a family, we made a special visit to the cemetery that day and did a little balloon release. Blake, in all his lovely innocence, loved watching the balloons go, but of course oblivious to the fact that he has a brother he will never get to meet. I mention him often and I hope to some day explain his big brother to him and how much he means to us without making Blake feel like he isn't equally as important to us. The thought of that conversation always brings me to tears. How do I explain to a child that wouldn't likely be here, that had his brother lived, he wouldn't be here. How do I explain the rarity of what happened to Thomas, the decisions we had to make, and the reasons behind them. I realize that conversation is many years away, but I think I need to know how to answer these questions so I can prepare for that future conversation.

As I struggle emotionally through yet another pregnancy, I can't help but wonder what Thomas would be like right now. Would he have the same goofy personality as Blake? Would he be just as good of an eater? Would he constantly want to be held while we are cooking? How much would he be talking? What color eyes would he have? Some of these questions, I can also apply to this baby too and whole different set of questions at the same time. Will this baby sleep as good as Blake? Will this baby be as difficult to nurse?

I think what I'm struggling with most this time around is the desire to find out the gender. Some days I want to know so badly, others I don't want to know at all. I fear that if I find out the gender that I will connect with this baby too much and then something awful will happen....it's such a horrible thought but an honest one. It was also so exciting when I delivered Blake to find out at that moment it was a boy. And while time is flying by with this pregnancy and I'm feeling good....I want to freeze these moments we have with our family as it looks now.

While most days I have no problem getting up and ready and then getting Blake up and getting that huge hug first thing in the morning. There are days I don't want to move and I just want to lie there crying in my pillow. So, sure time has made some things easier....but is it really any easier?