While the two week wait to get into see the doctor was tortuous, the day finally came...that day was March 14, 2014. We had another ultrasound and got see the little peanut squirming around like crazy. How were we to know anything was wrong with this little human? After the ultrasound we were led to a waiting room and a little while later the doctor, nurse, and genetic counselor came in.
The news they delivered to us that day, will forever change me. To be told that your child has "lethal defects" and isn't going to make it, rocks your world. What does that mean exactly....well, the doctor went on to tell us that the chamber in the heart weren't pumping to the right places, the lungs weren't developing because of all the issues with the heart, the kidneys weren't functioning or developing like they had hoped, and the brain was swollen and not developing correctly either. In so many words, our little baby, wasn't going to make it.
After that meeting, they did an amniocentesis which pulled fluid from around the baby to do some testing to find out exactly what was wrong. After that, we were released to go home....well, what do you do with yourself after an appointment like that?? We had no idea that was the news we were going to get, Jim had the truck packed and ready to head up north with his brother for the weekend and I was planning on going into work. So, instead....we headed home in separate vehicles.
By the time I got home I knew something wasn't feeling right. Having the amnio I knew one of the risks was miscarriage...so I was very concerned that's what was happening. So, of course the doctor sent me home with instructions and if a number of things happened to call my primary doctor. Of course, she wasn't in so we ended up calling the high risk doctor and they wanted us to come back to Green Bay to be seen to prevent any infection. So, we headed back up to Green Bay and while everything was okay he had given us some options. I could choose to lay flat all weekend and it would all seal back up or I could walk around more than normal and essentially force myself to miscarry. We certainly weren't ready to make that decision so I laid on the couch all weekend. We had a lot of visitors which helped the weekend go by much faster and a little less miserable considering the news we had just received.
The following Monday, March 17th we were to get the results from the amnio. It was confirmed to be a condition called Triploidy. I had never heard of anything about this before, so you can imagine the amount of research we were doing to figure this thing out. The genetic counselor walked us through the basics, it wasn't anything we did - this happens at conception, it's lethal in all cases! Still hard to say those words.....so, no matter what our baby wasn't going to survive. The following day we went in to see my primary doctor to talk over what our options were! Talk about an awful appointment.....we heard our baby's heartbeat for the last time that day....I'll never forget the sound, it broke my heart!
A few days later we scheduled my induction for April 1st, 2014. The hardest appointment I've ever had to schedule and go through with. So, April 1st came and to the hospital we went. We arrived just after 6am.
7:30 am - My doctor came in and started the first dose of medicine to start the process. After the first dose was given, my doctor didn't think it would take very long since my water had already broken. She prepared us saying that it might happen so fast that she might not make it in time to be there and I may not really even know the baby was here because of how small he was. She also confirmed at this point that our little baby was in fact, a boy!
9:00 am - They gave me an epidural - the goal was to keep me as comfortable as possible throughout the day.
9:30 am - Our photographer arrived! My sister helped us by setting up the whole thing so we could have some memories of our baby. And I'm so glad she did!
The day continued on and Jim never left my side. I forced him to go eat lunch with Jenny, Brian, and the photographer. I was in and out from the medication and he hadn't eaten all day. Plus, Jim's parents and my parent's were all there and he was just a phone call away if anything were to happen.
All afternoon passed and I was starting to feel worse and worse....lots of pain, nauseous....the whole nine yards. But no baby....
The medicine needed to be given every 6 hours and the first two doses didn't do anything. Finally, the third dose at least got things moving.
10:40 pm - Thomas Norman Anderson finally arrived! He was 6.7 ounces and 9.5 inches long!
What a moment....I was so looking forward to meeting him, but so afraid of what I was going to see. My doctor prepared us by telling us he was perfect, but that his one eye was open (I guess he wanted to look at us too)! We spent as much as time we could with him by ourselves and then everyone else (my parents, Jim's parents, Jenny & Brian, and the photographer) all came in to meet him. Everyone took turns holding him! We had the chaplain come in to bless him. The nurse told us before we were discharged that his left hand was shaped in sign language that means "I Love You." I cherish that moment....cause we sure love him too!
I don't even know what happened after that....I just knew I wasn't going to be able to bring my baby boy home!
