While I feel like I've been pregnant for way too long and maybe complain too much about it, don't get me wrong, I certainly know how blessed we are to not have the struggles of some. But it still doesn't minimize how disconnected I am with this baby...I still fear the worst most days, but trying to enjoy the final weeks. The final weeks are hard, I'm not sleeping well, struggling to breath, and overall very uncomfortable. Jim and I are both looking forward to the next part and seeing our little family grow.
I can't thank all of you enough for the support and love over the past year....we'd be lost without most of you.
I can't begin to explain the emotions I've felt over the past 8 months, happy, sad, angry....you name it and I've felt it. I know people who have babies about the same age as Thomas and I will always wonder the what if moments and I will always wonder what he would be like at those same milestones. I often feel robbed of those moments and then blessed knowing I have this new baby coming. How does one begin to understand God's plan? I guess that's why we have to have faith that He is steering us in the right direction...I still wonder, did we try too soon? Were we really ready for this? I suppose if we weren't, God wouldn't have let it happen.
I'm not the most spiritual person, I don't go to church every week like I should and even sometimes want to....but I have to believe He is guiding me and that he is holding my Thomas near to Him each and every day, until we meet again.
